Farewell
by Ellivia22
Summary: I swore to myself to never hurt you again. I intend to keep that promise. Alternate version of "Forgiven" warning: character death. oneshot Everllark. Please review :


(A/N: Hello all! Here is an alternate version to my other story "Forgiven". You don't have to read that first if you don't want to, but I would recommend it. Anyway, I really hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you think. Love, Ellivia22)

Disclaimer: Hunger Games is unfortunately not mine.

******Farewell**

******Katniss **

CREAK!

My eyes snap open as I am brought out of a deep slumber. The windows are still dark, telling me that it's still the middle of the night. Since the space next to me in the bed is unoccupied I assume that Peeta went to get a glass of milk. He's having a difficult time sleeping again.

I roll over. Instead of falling back asleep like I have been the past couple of nights, I lie there wide awake. Peeta's withdrawal from me and lack of sleep has caused me to worry like I've never worried before. I'm terrified for how quickly Peeta changed. He went from the happy go lucky baker's son, to someone distant and quiet. In fact he reminds me of my mother after father died. Last night was the perfect example.

___I placed two steaming dishes on the kitchen table. I was eager to introduce my newest creation to my fiancé- Southern Squirrel Stew. It was brewed from fresh squirrel that I had hunted earlier that morning along with steamed vegetables and a tinge of rice. I technically didn't have to hunt for our food anymore since Peeta and I had enough money to support ourselves for two lifetimes, yet it was something I enjoyed doing and helped me make new creations such as this. I hoped Peeta would like it._

___"Peeta darling, supper is ready."_

___A few minutes passed by and he still hadn't come to the table. I knew he was home so he had to of heard me. I put the rest of the food on the table then left the kitchen to go find him. I was shocked to find him at the bottom of the stairs. Peeta was standing there rigid, staring fixedly at the broken mirror that was still hanging. The shards of glass on the floor were gone but neither of us had removed the mirror. I watched silently for a few seconds, but he didn't move. What was going on?_

___I walked over and grabbed his alarmingly chilled arm gently. He didn't even look my direction. "Come on. It's time to eat."_

___He didn't say anything as I led him to the kitchen and told him to sit down. For the first time I noticed how pale his face was. His glassy blue eyes stared down blankly at his bowl as if he wasn't really seeing anything. My chest tightened, the tears threatening to fall. It hurt me so much that I had to relive this again. First my mother, now Peeta. But this time I knew he wasn't grieving, he was too ashamed to look at me. I knew he blamed himself for attacking me._

___Silently I took a spoonful of my stew and held it to his lips. Only then did he decide to eat. I continued the process until his bowl was almost empty. His eyes stayed on his lap. After a few minutes of silence I couldn't take it anymore. Peeta wasn't moving, not eating by himself. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I know you're thinking about the other day. You need to put it behind you. All that matters is that I'm okay and I know you didn't try to hurt me on purpose. Forgive yourself and go on. You can't just stop living."_

___At last Peeta looked me straight in the eyes. Self hatred is so evident in his eyes of blue that I couldn't help but wince. "As long as you have those cuts and bruises I will not forgive myself for the harm I inflicted on you."_

___With that he got up from the table and left the kitchen. I slumped back in my chair, my ____hands on my face. He wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping. I had to help him. Somehow._

After rubbing my eyes briefly I place my feet on the ground. There was no way I was falling back asleep this time. Not until I confront Peeta. Not until I get him to understand that what happened the other day wasn't his fault. His attack on me was nobody's fault but the Capitol. They were the ones who did this to him.

I reach the bottom of the stairs in a matter of seconds. The light to the kitchen is on. This confirms my suspicions. I stop dead in my tracks once I reach the doorway of the kitchen. A blonde figure is standing in the middle of the room, a large knife inches from his nightshirt-inches from his heart. My Peeta.

My body starts to tremble in fear. It's obvious what Peeta is planning to do. When I recover from the shock of this horrific scene I find my voice.

"Peeta, it's not worth it."

******Peeta**

I stare at the girl I've been madly in love with all my life. I was hoping that I'd be able to do this without her seeing me. I don't want her to witness my final deed. It would be harder to go through with it, not wanting to traumatize her anymore than she already is.

As I continue to stare at Katniss and the cuts and bruises on her face, I start to feel dizzy. My mind feels fuzzy. Katniss is desperately trying to talk me out of my next move. I can barely hear her. Her voice is almost like a soft lullaby. I can't concentrate on her words. My body starts to tense up. Oh God. Not this again.

_****__**Don't trust her**_, a voice whispers in my head. _****__**She's trying to deceive you.**_

___It's just Katniss, the girl you've loved forever. She won't hurt you' _my mind argues back.

Katniss slowly starts coming in my direction. She speaks to me gently. I tighten my grip on the blade. If I don't, I know I'll attack her again. This is the strongest impulse to do so since the Capitol captured me. I must fight it with all my strength. I must not hurt her.

"…I still think you're the amazing boy who gave me the bread all those years ago. You are the one I love seeing every morning when I wake up. I love you, Peeta. I know you love me. So spare us both pain by not going through with this."

**__****She's lying. She's just trying to distract you-make you vulnerable. You know that you're her next victim. Kill her. Kill her NOW!**

I'm almost to the breaking point. I can't control my impulses anymore. There is only one way to save Katniss from myself. It's time to perform my final deed. Katniss is almost inches away from me. My blue eyes lock with her grey ones. "I swore to myself that I would never hurt you again. I intend to keep that promise."

Then I plunge the blade into my heart.

******Katniss **

My screams echo in the large kitchen along with his gasp of pain. Quickly I pull the knife out of his chest. Peeta starts to fall as if the blade was the only thing that was keeping him standing. I catch him before he hits the ground. I wrap my arms around him as I fall to my knees. My hand covers the knife wound, making my hand all red and sticky. I know it's not doing any good. Already his breathing is starting to become shallow.

Tears are coursing down my face rapidly. I can't hold back the sobs nor do I want to. First I was forced to watch Rue being murdered, and Prim dying by accident. Now I'm losing the love of my life due to a self inflicted wound. The light is starting to fade from his eyes. My heart shatters into a million of pieces. He only has minutes left and there's nothing I can do about it.

Gentle fingers suddenly pull me forward. Soft lips press against mine in a weak, yet incredible kiss. I kiss him back with all the love I have felt for him for years. I break away only when I need to draw breath.

Peeta smiles at me peacefully. "Farewell Katniss. I love you." His eyes fall shut, his body going limp in my arms.

I pull his body closer to me. Absently I stroke his golden hair. A part of me doesn't want to believe that he's gone. Deep in my heart I know he is. Peeta thought that by doing this he was protecting me from himself. All he did was leave me alone and empty. I have nothing left. With him gone there's no point being here. I'd rather be with him for all eternity.

Gently I lay Peeta's body on the ground. Then with a swift motion I grab the knife beside me and plunge it into my heart. The same place he did.

The pain is so unbelievable I can't hold back a gasp. I feel like my insides are ripping open piece by piece. It's the worst amount of pain I've ever felt. I am beyond caring at this point. I will be with Peeta soon enough. I let go of the blade and fall to the ground. I lay next to him, my head on his shoulder, my arm draped across his stomach. Breathing is becoming almost impossible at this point. My eyes close. As I take my last breath I utter words that I mean with all my heart.

"I'll see you soon."

******The End**


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